Ending But Waiting

swt lo.. just now have write all but then suddenly the web page off liao.
haih.. nvm.. write again la so free..^^
in 9th DEC i have break up with my "laopo"
am i sad? sure, we have at least 1 years liao... i realy very very love her.
she actually is my 1st love la i think, the real one.. that time hope to value.
the 1st time i know her is in class la, ha.. that time she is a new student just drop down from a good class, so we begin our love in class..lol
but now wat i wan to say is the end liao.. haih...
last time she had mention to me and ask me whether can we be friend?
when i heard this i realy shock... aikz, that time realy dono wat to say. i am passive boy and realy don like to force some one for something, surely love la, a important thing that cant force...so when i heard it. i reply "ok la, ni xi huan la". that time maybe my sound abit sad and maybe she is pity in me so she say "just forget about it la, it just was joke" swt..
this kind of thing can be a joke d meh??
as she say b4. no feel den no feel
but maybe realy ma mu liao, because when we pakto realy like chirldren, not blaming some one, maybe we still smal, and i am a very childish boy...so she always say many thing like when i du qi with n cal her to go with boy den she wil say" ok la, u say d r" not d 1 i hope" nola"...
aikz, maybe i dono how to control love lo.. because 1st time ma.. haha
we always argue something that are not related with us d...
we have lost contact and din choi other for 1 week in holiday liao because of her maid, just a smal thing we lik to argue until like break d always.
i also a playfull boy, like to joke, when talk a joke with her sometime can be a spike.. haih.
When i at KL that time, she tell me that some problem is occur, i think it just like cancer,nothing in out look, but inside realy bad bad bad...
den she say we need time to adjust,but i know it wont take longer for us. and she need alot of freedom, i don think i tide her up very tide, i just care and do watever other bf do to thier gf ony ma..
so when i reach ipoh, she ask me whether can go out at night anot? i say where? maybe too late den cant. and she say going to people house stay over night and the location is going to Y2K. i realy swt that time, i realy dono y she become like this, go pub and even stay over night at people house.
so, i realy dono wat to do, at night, the whole night..i have think properly,
i send a long 6 pages msg to her and say that we just b friend that she wish...
maybe i am abit sensitive i admit, i think that go pub is realy bad, maybe i am the one who got problem..but i not going to say her or figure out wat hapen liao. because this kind of girl realy out of my heart i think...i realy don like this kind of girl, to me is a bad girl. to me!!
i always think that she is not like this geh, just influnce by friend.. so i try to pull her up. but i am stupid..ah ping is more important to her and powerful den u la lee ming sey. wake up la...hmm..cant say what also.. their house distance realy near until can walk.. and my house to her house realy far until...and also dono how many years friend liao, and i just ony 1+years with her ony la. what kind of power.
they always go out together la, go where also together, if 1 of them unisex, sure wil pakto...who r u then lee ming sey?? maybe just a doll this 1 years. where ever we go, a ping sure here, where ever they go, i am totaly out.. so? wat kind of bf is me? so i think i better give up, don wasting time...
maybe my parents also abit locked me up, don let me go here n there, so they always can go here n there together...
i watch 13 movie with her b4. ony 2 i was ony totaly with her. 1 if we ponteng school that day, and 1 is bishan(i force d) haih..
so i hope we are not going to hurt any one include our friend, so i quit.
maybe they can go even further more i dono...but now i writing, i am crying...maybe just a period...
hope can stop thinking...smile ^^

I realy love u laopo, but u realy change, and knew tat u wan single life, ok, i wil let u...T.T hope u have ur good future and a good husband that can c over u, not like me...haha